How Setting Goals Can Improve Family Harmony

25 April 2018

EVO Goal guest blog

At one time or another we all feel the pressure of parenthood. We often tie ourselves in knots with the work-life balance but then feel guilty when we can’t keep everyone happy. How often have you told yourself I’m going to be more patient, I’m not going to shout or I’m going to spend more quality time with my loved ones? Intentions are all well and good but sometimes they fall by the wayside just because life gets in the way.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Through experience and extensive research, I now know that to instigate real, long lasting change, creating goals is the key.

Even the simple act of setting goals and breaking down your path to achieving them can make a massive difference in your ability to create change.

‘’If you as a parent feel fulfilled and have balance in your life, then you will be better able to cope’’

So what goals should you be setting?

Before you look at setting goals to improve your family or children’s lives you need to first look at your own life. If you as a parent feel fulfilled and have balance in your life, then you will be better able to cope with the challenges of raising your children. Whether you’re a full-time parent or juggling external work with your family commitments, stepping back to assess your own life and ensure you are in a place that you are content with is so important. I appreciate it can be easier said than done to make time for yourself but finding small pockets of time where you can fit in the things that make you happy (e.g. reading a book, running etc.) is essential. As Jessica Turner mentions in her book The Fringe Hours there is always more time to be found whether it’s 30mins while your child is napping, 20mins on a commuter train, 5 mins between meetings, early morning or late evening.

‘’Helping your child to create (achievable) goals can help increase their confidence’’

Once you’ve looked at your own personal goals, start thinking about your goals for your family. These can be goals for improving your behaviour or habits or those of your children. Helping your child to create (achievable) goals can help increase their confidence and can also help build their resilience and ability to cope with setbacks.

‘’Consistency and routine’’

Key to achieving your goals is identifying small actionable steps, consistency and routine. For example, if your goal is to improve your child’s mental maths, build a routine of asking them questions for 5 mins at the same time every day, e.g. at the breakfast table or on the walk to school. Doing this at the same time every day means you won’t forget and they (hopefully!) won’t complain as they accept that this is the routine.

Some top tips for setting goals:

  1. Make your goals SMART!
    • Specific
    • Measurable
    • Achievable
    • Relevant
    • Time-bound
  2. Set BIG GOALS to stretch yourself. Give yourself challenging, stretched timelines. Be determined, focused and put a structured routine in place and you’ll be amazed at how your capacity stretches to accommodate your priorities.
  3. Find your Motivation – Big goals are more like climbing a mountain than a walk in the park and if you don’t have a deep emotional reason for achieving something, you won’t be able to keep going when the going gets tough.

mum and daughter portrait - RJM Photography

Fiona is the founder of EVO GOALS, an online coaching platform, and mum to two little ones. Following years juggling family and work in the city and feeling as though everything was a compromise, Fiona decided to leave her job and set up her own consultancy business. This improved her work-life balance, but she still felt that she could do more. After extensively researching the self-help market and realising there wasn’t one book or product that gave her exactly what she needed (most focus on a single area) she had the idea for EVO GOALS – a simple-to-use affordable platform that combines life coaching and professional productivity coaching in one, helping you to take more control of your life.

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